The Consequences of the Delta Outage on an Almost Charleston Love story

Actual Letter shared by Charleston based Delta Airlines Customer choosing to stay anonymous for publication.

August 31, 2016
Re: Lasting Consequences from Delta Outage

To Whom It May Concern,

Before I begin my letter, I’d just like to say that I LOVE Delta Airlines. You are the airline that helps me escape Charleston during one nervous breakdown caused by a boy or another. Therefore, in early August, when you had your outage, I really wasn’t bothered at the time with all the chaos, because I knew you were a dependable airline and that you were doing your best to take care of us.

HOWEVER!! YOUR OUTAGE HAS BASICALLY GUARANTEED I BECOME A CAT LADY!! Never will I find love…and all because of a missed flight, a lost luggage (don’t worry, it eventually made its way back home), and the man who moved on.  I bet you’re confused, so let me explain…it all started May 12, 2016 (yes, I know this was before the outage).

It was my birthday, and my friends had taken me out, gotten me properly drunk, and then decided we needed to spend the rest of the night dancing. Unfortunately, this 4’11, 100 pound girl in her 4 inch heels, couldn’t really “dance” much. So, I chilled at the bar…and there he was .THE MAN OF MY DREAMS. He was everything I wanted. There was just one problem, he lived in Virginia and was only in Charleston for a weekend vacation (he flew here via Delta by the way). Yet, despite knowing our love would be filled with woe, we had a lovely weekend together (no, I did not go all the way, mama raised me better than to give it up that easy…) .

We agreed when he left, that the next time we saw each other would be when I came to Virginia to visit him (because no one goes to Virginia just to tour Virginia). With the chaos of finals, scheduling my pharmacy rotation in Ohio, and then planning the CRAZIEST itinerary from Cincinnati to Paris, Paris to Beirut…then Beirut to Dubai, Dubai to Prague, Prague to Bulgaria, Bulgaria back to Prague, Prague to NYC, and then NYC to Cincinnati (nearly all flights through Delta…you made SO much money off of me)…our love was challenged.

So, as I was leaving Beirut on the return leg of my trip (in order to go to Bulgaria eventually for my friend’s wedding), I was informed of a plane crash in Dubai (thank goodness it wasn’t a Delta plane or my parents would have lost their marbles). As a result, there were delays in Dubai (i.e. the airport was basically closed for a day as everyone freaked out). My luggage was lost (taking its own vacation with the other 15,000 suitcases that were also lost). Eventually, I made it to Bulgaria – but damn that suitcase, it just didn’t want to come with me. So, I was such a BEAUTIFUL bridesmaid in my cotton dress, Nike Gym Shoes, and hair that was frizzier than Beyonce’s in a steam room. BUT! I was still happy…because I knew, that once I got back to the US, I would eventually get to see the man who captured my heart. You may be laughing and thinking that I’m crazy because we only saw each other once, but let me tell you this. HE KEPT TALKING TO ME AND FACETIMING ME EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT SUMMER! You don’t waste data on calling a girl halfway across the world if you don’t at least sorta/maybe love her.

Anyways, I digress…
I left Bulgaria – still without my suitcase and wearing underwear I bought in a flee market for 50 Bulgarian cents (I gave up on hopes of a bra). BUT! I was STILL HAPPY.

The happiness did not last.
Eventually, once I made it to NYC, my suitcase was with me once more (because you know, I needed that bridesmaid dress in JFK’s airport of course). Yet, because of the outage, my flight from Prague to JFK was delayed – which resulted in missing my flight from JFK back to Cincinnati. Still, things could have been worse at that point – I slept in an NYC hotel, looking out my window, thinking about me and “THE GUY” living the life like Carrie Bradshaw and Mr. Big (without the 10 seasons of drama preceding it…we would skip straight to the cute courthouse wedding).

However…while the suitcase was apparently with me in NYC, that stupid little thing decided it was not ready to go back to Cincinnati and was accidently rerouted elsewhere – it still hasn’t told me where it was. I think it found a Samsonite and fell in love. So, I sat in Cincinnati without any clothes (no, I was not naked in my parent’s house…I got to wear mom’s favorite pajamas which turned out to be dad’s old boxers – yes, I will bill you for the therapy session). As I sat and waited for my luggage, I learned many things. The first thing I learned was that my house, my couch cushions, and that nasty place under the fridge that no one wants to clean were hiding SO MANY PENNIES! Did you know that pennies minted before 1943 can be worth thousands of dollars? I didn’t either…I learned this while counting pennies in my dad’s boxers, wearing Bulgarian panties, no bra…and becoming very sad for what I will tell you happened next.

So, you probably notice that my address is in Charleston, but my last flight was to Cincinnati. That’s because I was planning on driving myself back (with a car full of homemade food, lots of pillows, and probably too many stuffed animals). The best part of my driving, though, was not going to be the winding roads of Tennessee that would make the most qualified astronaut get nauseous, but rather a “pit-stop” I was going to make in Virginia. FINALLY! After many long and lonely nights, he and I would be together once more.

Yeah…things did not happen that way. The delay in receiving my luggage (which was a result of the horrible domino effect caused by the Delta outage) made me super late (no, not that kind of late – I am not the next Holy Mary and I don’t think I’m worthy of immaculate conception). I could not afford to stop in Virginia, and as I told this wonderful man that I would not see him – after he had already called off work and planned so many romantic trips – I wanted to cry. In fact, I did cry. The entire freaking way back to Charleston (i.e. I had to continue straight to Charleston because I would have been late for my Pharmacy 3 courses (P3 is a horrible year…miss one day, you might as well drop out and save yourself money on Xanax)).

He said it would be okay, that we would see each other soon. Yeah. Let me tell you something, men lie. That weekend, he met a cute girl. He began flirting with this girl. He kissed this girl. Pretty sure this girl experienced the romantic trips that I was supposed to and SHE was the one who had breakfast in bed the next morning.

Fortunately, he had some decency and told me about her yesterday – only because I was about to use my Delta $200 voucher to fly up and see him on Labor Day weekend. He said, “I hope we can still be friends.”  The seven words that take a woman from sane to 2 bottles deep in $5 Pinot Noir (advice: if the wine is $5 and is from the corner liquor shop, don’t drink it).

My roommate wanted me to sue you for “psychological pain and emotional suffering.” However, I just really wanted to vent. She’s upstairs with HER cute boy and I’m down here drinking my sadness away. But talking to you helps…I just really hope you made it to the end of this letter.

I have no idea what I actually want in return from you…maybe you can find me another cute 5’10, Civil Engineer with a PhD in Architecture, from Spain (no, not Mexico – legit SPAIN) who speaks with the sexiest accent you’ve heard since Antonio Bandaras, who also wants to have 2 kids, a hamster, and 3 kittens – just like me.

Can you find this? Delta prides itself on customer satisfaction. Please. Help me.

Love (even though it doesn’t exist) always (even though it doesn’t last),

Puffs